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This is a comment made at a recent meeting with my autistic group.

Christmas is a time of year not always enjoyed by Autistic people. It is a busy time of year. Lots of expectations in terms of behaviour at gatherings. This includes showing expected shows of joy, participation in a bright noisy atmosphere, lots of movement, little down time to relax. A change in routine. A time to mask, to try to fit in. Overwhelm that some may feel they are not allowed to show. Stressful mentally and physically. Just consider the line by Slade ‘Are you sure you’ve got the room to spare inside’. Mental energy.

Please don’t be surprised if you find that some people are not enjoying Christmas as much as others. This may not only be due to autism, but it may be a bad time for other people, possibly due to bereavements, previous bad experiences etc.

The run up to Christmas is exhausting in itself with parties, cards, preparations, and trying to match the joy shown by others. For many the overwhelming feeling is when will it end so I can relax.

Yes it is nice to see family, and have time together. However feeling there is a set of rules to follow, as that is how it has always been done, and telling people they are spoiling it for xxxx because you have failed to do xxxxx, or said you need time out due to stress headaches does not work always, rather increases stress and masking. Doing everything together, all the time, as a group is not always easy, as some will be on eggshells a lot trying to fit in to what is considered to be acceptable, not switching off.

Ways to help others with this include is to allow downtime, listen to what they are saying without judgement and accept that not everyone is the same in their idea of fun, and sometimes just being there, not necessarily actively participating is fine. Being more inclusive will really help.

Have a good Christmas whatever you are doing. And see you on the other side.